vintage laughing women

45 Funny Diet Quotes, Hilarious Weight-Loss Memes

Funny diet & weight loss quotes and memes: In life, you have to have a sense of humor, especially when it comes to dieting. They say that most diets fail within 7 days, so if you don’t laugh, you might just cry.

Here are some funny diet memes and famous quotes about weight loss with captions we put together for your entertainment.


Funny Diet Memes:

Here are a bunch of diet memes that I made myself. Most of them look like those funny ecards with vintage clip art that you see. Others are funny pics with captions. Feel free to click on any of the pictures to print them out, pin them, or share with others!

funny drinking diet quote pic
I’m on a liquid diet… funny diet meme
funny diet exercise quote gym
women cake diet starts tomorrow meme
Tomorrow we start our diet for real – retro women baking cake meme
I'm on a see food diet. Funny diet meme
I’m on a see food diet. Funny diet meme
funny eat healthy meme
unhealthy eating diet meme
funny diet meme lose weight eat healthy
“I’d do anything to lose weight” – eating healthy meme
diet day one funny ecard
Diet day one: I removed all of the unhealthy food from the house – funny ecard
burn calories diet meme pizza
I burned 1200 calories in under an hour… weight loss meme w/ pizza
funny diet pic banana
Fact: Bananas are 75% water and 100% NOT chocolate.
funny diet pie chart
The data is in. Americans don’t eat healthy
How i cut carbs - Funny Weight Loss Quote + Pic
This is how I cut carbs; pizza
eat bad carbs airport meme
Eating bad carbs at the airport meme
diet lost weight funny pic man
weight loss sweatpants meme funny man
I thought i lost weight… funny weight loss meme man
willpower quit dieting meme
It took all my willpower, but I finally quit dieting
funny scale no weight loss meme
My scale says I haven’t lost any weight… weight loss meme
funny diet quit yesterday
I started a diet yesterday. Thank God that bullsh*t is over!

Famous Funny Diet & Weight Loss Quotes:

funny diet quote 2 weeks
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is 14 days

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. – quote author unknown

“Today I bought a cupcake without the sprinkles. Diets are hard.” – Anonymous weight-loss quote

“Never eat more than you can lift.” – Miss Piggy

*Related: 21 Funny Camping Memes

“In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.” – Stephen Phillips

“I’m not afraid of heights, just widths.” – Steven Wright (*Not originally a weight-loss quote, but works for dieting!)

“I keep trying to lose weight — but it keeps finding me” – anonymous diet quote

diet quote fat people
Great diet idea; funny quote

“We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.” – anonymous quote

“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” – anonymous quote

“The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor.” – anonymous funny diet quote

“The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.” – unknown diet quote

“A waist is a terrible thing to mind.” – Tom Wilson

“Obesity is really widespread.” – Joseph O. Kern II

“My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.” – Henny Youngman

funny diet quote jackie gleason
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first…

“I’m not overweight. I’m just nine inches too short.” – Shelley Winters

“Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can’t even get into my own pants.” – unknown diet quote

“I think I just ate my willpower.” – anonymous funny diet quote

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape — isn’t it?” – anonymous funny weight loss quote.

“To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.” – Mark Twain

“When we lose twenty pounds… we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.” – Woody Allen


New: Coupons for WW (join free!), Nutrisystem (50% off), Noom (30-day free trial)