funny quotes taxes

39 Funny Tax Quotes, One-Liners, and Memes for Tax Day

Paying your taxes can be a miserable experience, so why not at least have a sense of humor about it. Over the years many famous people from Mark Twain and Ronald Regan to Snoopy have been quoted complaining and joking about taxes.

Here are some funny memes and short quotes about paying taxes, tax day, and the IRS:

39 Funny Tax Quotes:

1. “People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women.” – anonymous

2. Snoopy: Dear IRS

snoopy irs taxes funny

3. “I’m not going to pay taxes. When they say I’m going to prison, I’ll say no, prisons cost taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we’ll call it even.” – Jimmy Kimmel

4. To simplify tax collections the IRS has a new, easier to use tax form with only two lines:

  1. How much money did you make this year?
  2. Please send it in.
irs funny comic meme

5. “The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.” – anonymous quote

6. Albert Einstein short tax quote:

taxes quote einstein

“This (filing taxes) is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.” – Albert Einstein

7. “When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.” –Jimmy Kimmel

8. Tax question: can I claim the voices in my head as dependents?

funny tax day meme woman
Funny tax meme

9. “Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”funny tax quote

10. “The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream” – Bill Murray

11. “Don’t forget to do your taxes this year so the government can give it to people who don’t work as hard as you.”

12. “I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.” – Arthur Godfrey

13. “When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.” – Vanya Cohen

14. Tax question: can you pay the IRS in cats?

tax day meme cats
Funny tax meme – IRS, cats

15. “The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.” – Bill Vaughan

16. “I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!” – anonymous

17. “For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.” – funny quote

18. Richard Nixon tax quote:

taxes quote richard nixon

19. “People who save their money for a rainy day end up getting soaked by the government.” – anonymous quote

20. “If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.” – Farmer’s Almanac

21. “Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” – Jimmy Kimmel

22. Tax day: This too, shall pass… like a kidney stone.

funny tax day letterboard
Funny letterboard quote about doing taxes / tax day

23. “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” – Ronald Reagan

24. “65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.” – Jay Leno

25: “A person doesn’t know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.” Ann Landers

tax quote ann landers

26. “Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you’re allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.” – Conan O’Brien

27. “The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them” – funny short saying

28. “It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.” – Will Rogers one liner

29. “What’s the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” Mark Twain

taxes quote mark twain

“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” – Mark Twain

*Related: Really Funny Diet Quotes

30. “Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?” – Peg Bracken

31: “I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” – Milton Berle one-liner

32: “The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.” Thomas Dewar

taxes quote dewar

33. “On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.” – Tom Lehrer

34. “I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age – which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.” – Noel Coward

35 “I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” – Douglas Adams

*Related: Funny Hate Camping Memes

36. “The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.” – George Bernard Shaw

37. The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.” Will Rogers

38. “Definition of ‘Capital punishment’… The income tax.” – Jeff Hayes

39. “It’s fitting that April 14 is National Pecan Day because today, we recognize nuts. And tomorrow, on April 15, we pay our taxes to support them.” – Craig Ferguson

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I hope these funny tax memes and quotes brightened your tax season a little bit. If you have a meme, saying, or quote to add, please just drop us a line below.

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